


Paranoid

by SenpaiFrerard



Series: Five year anniversary of me writing on this website [7]
Category: My Chemical Romance, frerard - Fandom
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-03
Updated: 2019-09-03
Packaged: 2020-10-06 12:47:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,668
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20507243
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SenpaiFrerard/pseuds/SenpaiFrerard
Summary: I’m late I know. My calendar didn’t remind me I was supposed to post it and it was a busy weekend. I didn’t have service anyway. I also went kayaking for the first time in my life and loved it.Bear with me please for the love of everything. I’m too extra when it comes to these I can just have like general angst. It all has to be extra but I promise after the next one I’ll slow down on the extra. I don’t know if the next one is going to be on time because I’m not sure if I finished it or was almost finished it or what.It’s fine and everything is fine though. Hope you’re enjoying these things. Also I’ll come back through with tags and other stuff but I have to go to work right now so it’s going to be a few hours.





	Paranoid

**Author's Note:**

> I’m late I know. My calendar didn’t remind me I was supposed to post it and it was a busy weekend. I didn’t have service anyway. I also went kayaking for the first time in my life and loved it. 
> 
> Bear with me please for the love of everything. I’m too extra when it comes to these I can just have like general angst. It all has to be extra but I promise after the next one I’ll slow down on the extra. I don’t know if the next one is going to be on time because I’m not sure if I finished it or was almost finished it or what. 
> 
> It’s fine and everything is fine though. Hope you’re enjoying these things. Also I’ll come back through with tags and other stuff but I have to go to work right now so it’s going to be a few hours.

Frank and Gerard have been staying at Gerard's parents house for a total of ten days and frank can tell Gerard's worries about him but there's really no reason for him to be. He's fine like completely fine he goes to work and everything and acts normal and it's fine.

He's still paranoid obviously some stranger came into his apartment assaulted him and then disappeared. His mother is fine too nothings happened to her or anything and she goes about her daily life with no worries.

Frank understands why Gerard would be worries but he has no reason to be and he can just take a chill pill and everything will be fine. Frank still studies for his classes and goes to work and sleeps sometimes because he's worried he's going to wake up and James will be there.

Frank has no doubt that he knows where they're staying but he chose it specifically because they're in a basement and it doesn't have a door or windows big enough for anyone to get into. There's always someone there too so he doesn't have to worry about being alone when Gerard's at work.

There's a new strict rule though that all the doors have to be closed and locked even when they're home because franks not taking any chances. Gerard thinks is a ridiculous rule because nothing bad ever happens in the neighborhood but he doesn't understand how unsafe frank feels.

Frank even has lunch inside at work just so he's around people all the time so James can't pop up out of nowhere and well he doesn't know what he wants exactly but he knows it's not good. They contacted him and said they had fingerprints but couldn't find any matches with anything and they're trying their best to get to the bottom of it.

The entire situation just brings back memories he blocked out a long time ago and didn't think he'd ever have to remember. He hasn't even told Gerard because he's blocked everything out until recently and it's affecting his sleep.

What little sleep he gets is just a playground for his worst memories of his first boyfriend and most of the time they have him sleeping on the couch to keep from waking Gerard up when he jumps awake. Gerard just assumes that he falls asleep while he's studying and that's why he's on the couch and he doesn't know how to bring it up to him.

He doesn't want to worry Gerard more than he is already worried because he's doing enough worrying for his entire family. Frank had to threaten to divorce him his first day back to work because he was trying to convince him to just take a few more days.

Frank has to work because if he doesn't he won't have money and if he doesn't have money then no apartment and no college. It's mostly because if he doesn't work then he will go crazy with worrying about James showing up and getting him and that's not what his plan is he doesn't want to be driven to that point.

It's been quiet since they have been staying with Gerard's parents and that's a good thing although franks not sure if that scares him more than if something was happening. He's not stupid enough to think that everything will stop out of nowhere he had to be stalking frank and if he was then he doesn't know for how long.

His biggest worry isn't him though because he's dealt with the creepy stalker shit before but as far as he knows Gerard hasn't and he doesn't know if he'll be able to cope with it. Naturally Gerard will be freaked out because that's how you react when you find out someone's been stalking you and your husband.

Franks freaked out and he's dealt with it before it's not like he's an expert on things and can just go around pretending everything is fine. Franks just going to cope with feeling like he's being followed around constantly and checking everything to make sure there isn't any way for someone to get him.

Franks studying when the basement door opens and it makes him jump because he can't see the door but Gerard comes down the stairs. He tries not to look too relieved but Gerard catches it anyway "frank I promise you I will not let him get in this house" he says.

Frank sets his pencil down and wipes his eyes because he's been staring at his computer screen for an hour and his eyes hurt "I'm more worried about you Gerard" he sighs. Gerard smiles and shakes his head "as far as I'm concerned your the one in danger here because he's after you worry about yourself".

Frank shakes his head and stands up knocking the papers he had in his lap on the floor "no Gerard I'm not going to stop worrying about you he could come after you to get to me and I don't know what I'd do if something happened to you" Franks trying not to cry because he doesn't want to upset Gerard. "Nothing is going to happen to me" he whispers as he walks up to him.

Frank looks up at him and Gerard looks worried again "oh frank no don't cry I'm serious I'll be fine" he says and wraps his arms around him. Frank let's out a sob "no I know what happens and I don't want it to happen to you" He is latched to Gerard.

"That's just the shit that happens in movies and tv shows" Gerard starts running a hand through franks hair shushing him. Frank shakes his head and pushes Gerard back a little "no I know what happens it's happened to me before" frank internally yells at himself for letting it slip out but he was going to have to tell him eventually.

Gerard raises his eyebrows and backs up "what do you mean?" He asks as frank backs up further and reaches down to pick up the papers he knocked on the floor. Frank takes a deep breath and puts them on the table looking over at the wall, he doesn't think he'll be able to look at Gerard while he tells him.

Frank sees Gerard shifting closer and tenses crossing his arms and Gerard backs up clearly seeing that this isn't the time to try to comfort him. "I was like 16 this was way before we met" he looks over at Gerard's desk specially at a sketch Gerard did of him last night.

"I had this friend Chris, we were pretty much inseparable I'd known him for five years at the time" frank walks over to the desk so his back is to Gerard. "He kissed me one day and that was around a year after I realized I didn't like girls so I'd been hiding a crush I had one him" frank runs his right hand over his face.

"We started dating probably a week after that and nothing really changed expect we were doing more couple things then just friend things" frank doesn't know what to do with his hands so he crosses his arms again knowing that it's s defensive gesture but not caring. "We dated for three months and then I started getting notes from someone I honestly thought it was chris at first, I didn't bring it up st first because they were so nice and sweet".

Frank turns and walks toward the bed but doesn't sit down he knows he'll just get up and walk somewhere else "when they started getting weird I confronted him" frank does sit down and when he looks at Gerard he gets a look of pity which is not why he is telling him but he's not going to argue with him about it right now. "I confronted him about the note well the first one and I thought it might have been a joke at first but he didn't know what I was talking about, we argued about it because I didn't think it was funny and I called off our plans because I was pissed".

Frank sniffles and looks down at the floor "when I got home there was another note at my house in my bedroom and I thought the only way that could be is if it was him but it was in plain sight if he'd have left it there the night before I would have noticed". Frank clears his throat and stands up "it said something along the lines of getting me whether I wanted them or not so I called Chris and he waited with me until my mom got home and she called the police." Gerard sat down where frank had been studying "why didn't you call them right away?" He asked, frank huffs out what kind of sounds like a laugh "I didn't think of it honestly I was freaking out I locked all the doors and double checked the windows to make sure they were all locked" he puts his elbows on his knees and leans on them.

"I'd kept all the notes so we have them to the police and there were no prints other than mine and Chris's because we were the only two that handled them, the notes kept coming though even though there were police stationed in front of my house for a few days they'd figured out when the police switched shifts and would drop them off in between". "I mean I didn't get any sleep for the first week and I didn't go to school whoever it was didn't want me sleeping or anything" frank hears Gerard shift and looks up.

"What do you mean whoever it was they never found out?" Frank just stares at him he hadn't meant to tell him that "uh no they didn't" Gerard stands up and walks over to frank putting his hands on his shoulders "what if it's him" he says. Frank hadn't thought of that or didn't want to think it could be him "why would he wait so long to come back? why did he show me his face? there was never any kind of evidence" Gerard sits down next to him.

"Fuck I need to keep going" he takes a shaky breath before continuing his story "I obviously had to go back to school but my mother dropped me off and picked me up she had to explain to her work what was happening so she could get permission to leave two time a day to do it". Gerard wraps an arm around his waist and pulls him closer "it wasn't just the notes they started leaving pictures of me and Chris but they had hateful notes written on the back about how Chris didn't treat me right or whatever and that worried me because I didn't want Chris to get hurt because someone was after me".

"It stopped suddenly two months after it started and there were no leads or anything so they just tucked it away because what were they going to do the person just stopped all communication and I was even worse after that". "I mean it was bad" he laughs and leans his head on Gerard's shoulder "I've never had the best sleep schedule but it got to the point that I had to go sleep in my parents room, we bought a blow up mattress for me to sleep on because I couldn't sleep in my room alone out of fear of them coming back or making a move to get me".

"Chris disappeared two weeks after the notes stopped and I knew what happened but my parents tried to tell me that he just ran away or something like it would make me feel better or something but it just made it worse". Frank closes his eyes "we got several pictures in the mail the day after he went missing, they were-" frank swallows and takes a shaky breath and Gerard's arm tightens "you don't have to continue" he says but frank shakes his head because he has to, he's never told anyone not even Shannon.

"They were numbered and he was tied to a chair in the first one unconscious but the second one he was awake in, the third one his lip was busted and he had a black eye" Franks crying again because he can see the pictures if he closes his eyes as if he's staring right at them. "The next day we got more and he was missing a few fingers and his ear was in a box with them" frank stops and shoves his face into Gerard's neck letting out a sob.

Gerard runs his hand through his hair and kisses the top of his head "he looked so beaten up and it was my fault because I couldn't protect him" Gerard shushes him "no it wasn't your fault you couldn't have known this monster was going to take him" frank grips the front of Gerard's shirt and cries into his neck. "A week after that Chris body was on our front porch I flipped out when I found him and I called the police but he was already dead he'd been dead for a few days but I-" frank takes a very wet sounding breath.

"I went to a very dark place after that, the funeral was horrible I had to mourn not only my best friend but my boyfriend and his parents were devastated that their only son was murdered" frank pulls back and rubs his wrist "I tried to kill my self a month later not because of Chris but the thought that the person that killed him was still coming after me and if I wasn't alive then he couldn't get me" Gerard grabs his arm but frank pulls away and stands up.

"My parents forced me into therapy and I hated it because I didn't want to talk about it I just wanted to stop all of the pain" frank has this blank look on his face and Gerard's getting worried again. "I was in the hospital for over a month after the second attempt and I fell into depression I actually didn't think I was going to make it through it".

Gerard grabs franks hand and pulls his closer "is that what this is from?" He asks running his finger over the scars on franks wrist, Frank nods and stares at them "I blocked it out after I got out of the hospital and my parents were worried for a long time but I just never thought of it, I pushed it as far away as I could and I finished school and went to college because I wasn't going to let it take over my life".

"I packed away all of the pictures of me and Chris together and never thought of it but as soon as James disappeared nowhere to be found it came back and I've been having nightmares about what happened then". Frank pulls his hand away and climbs on the bed curling up on his side "I never told you because i didn't want to remember but i just needed to find a time to tell you" Gerard lays down next to him and squeezes his hand "we have to let the detectives know that this might be related to that" Gerard says softly.

Frank nods "I know I just hope it's not I can't go through this again and I can't let anything happen to you" Gerard pulls franks hand up to his mouth and kisses his knuckles. "I'll be fine no one can get into my studio without going through security and the doors locked with a security code and they know that if anything happens what to do" that still doesn't make frank feel any better but he knows he can be with him all the time.


End file.
